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Texting, calling or messaging? New dating etiquette or just bad manners?

Not that long ago, the first steps in the dating game went something like this: meeting, (usually the guy) getting a phone number, (usually the girl) waiting for the phone call, first date, waiting for another phone call, second date, etc. Waiting for that first phone call could be torture. While the guy would usually try to play it cool, trying not to call too soon, the questions „why isn’t he calling?“ haunted the girl.

However, once he did call, the first few phone conversations were a great way to get to know each other a bit better before the first date. Chatting in a more relaxed atmosphere, without worrying how you looked and whether the date was going well, allowed both sides to actually share things about them, providing talking points for the dates that would follow.

Today, calling someone on the phone is slowly but surely becoming a thing of the past. Many people don’t even have a landline anymore and with mobile phones, there’s constant worries about battery life, health hazards from spending too much time on the phone and bad coverage. On the other hand, people are often shy to call a mobile phone just to chat, in case they catch you at a bad time, out and about or someplace where it’s too loud to talk. There are so many other forms of communication available, often sending a text message, instant message or email is easier than calling someone on the phone.

With friends and family that’s fine, especially if you know that they prefer communicating via text, message or emails. But what about texting someone in a dating scenario. Those born after 1990, who grew up with mobile phones, probably wouldn’t even think twice about texting someone instead of calling, but those who grew up with dating etiquette that involved waiting for him (or more rarely her) to call will find it strange and possibly rude.

If you got someone’s number and want to ask them out on a date, we would suggest sending a text message first, saying how nice it was to meet and asking about a good time for a phone call. That way you don’t have to omit the calling part, but you can use the first text as a buffer to make sure the first phone call isn’t awkward.

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