Starflower
The Chemistry of Love – Falling in Love, Explained
Generally, we’re not so big on over-analysing falling in love. We do analyse relationships (yes, there is a difference), but not falling in love. It is what it is, call that our motto. Falling in love is strange and beautiful and we don’t need to know what chemicals cause it, because that is not very romantic. Nevertheless, when we hear about all the chemicals associated with the process of falling in love, we got curious, then fascinated, then overcame our bad “relationship history” with chemistry and then found out the following wonderful things you never knew about the chemistry of love.
- You might be familiar with the symptoms of falling in love – the heart-racing, sweating, energy rush, sleeplessness, loss of appetite and blushing. Also, the good old butterflies-in-stomach sensation. Science assures us that there are no actual butterflies involved, rather the chemicals dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine released by the brain. These are triggered by visual and other impulses tied to falling in love that make you focus on the person your are falling in love with to the exclusion of others.
- At the early stages of a relationship, your serotonin levels are similar to those of an obsessive-compulsive, which explains a lot (like, the obsession and the compulsiveness) and doesn’t sound very romantic.
- At a later stage of the relationship, the chemical oxytocin facilitates bonding. It’s the same chemical that strengthens the relationship between mother and child – now that is romantic!
- Oxytocin counteracts the effect of the norepinephrine and phenylethylamine, so passionate love fizzles out (boo!), but the romantic relationship grows (yay!)
- Feelgood chemicals endorphins also do their part, making you feel relaxed and happy in a relationship.
As fascinating as all that romantic chemical talk may be, the chemistry of love doesn’t quite beat the actual feeling of falling in love or being in a loving relationship, so we’ll file that as fascinating facts and go right back to thinking of love as a strange and beautiful thing.
Don’t Let Communication Problems Get in the Way of Love
What do you do when your relationship is in trouble? Talk! Sounds simple… And yet it can be so hard.
If your relationship is worth saving, then overcome communication issues and start talking straight.
- In a relationship, each person has a different communication style. You need to acknowledge that your boyfriend or girlfriend’s style may differ from yours. If the boyfriend loves to talk, never letting the girlfriend get a word in, or the girlfriend is a great listener who doesn’t like to share secrets, there’s trouble ahead.
- Learn to adjust your speaking and listening patterns to your boyfriend or girlfriend’s speech.
- Don’t overlook nonverbal communication. Body language is very important in a relationship and can tell you if your boyfriend or girlfriend is saying what he/she is thinking.
- Don’t be fooled by gender stereotypes into blaming all problems on differences between the way men and women communicate. Most communication clashes in relationships are individual, not male/female.
- Keep in mind that every relationship is different and there is no general rule for communication that applies to every relationship. You need to adjust your communication to the needs of your boyfriend or girlfriend – and vice versa.
There really is one rule that applies to every relationship – communication is the best way to solve communication problems!
If your way of communicating is compatible with your boyfriend or girlfriend’s communication style, your relationship is much more likely to be successful and harmonious. The science-based matching system at be2 can help you find a partner who is a good match for you in many ways, amongst others in the way you communicate.
When you see how happy you are in a relationship with a partner you can communicate with properly, you will appreciate how valuable science-based matchmaking really is. There are several questions that relate to communication styles in the free be2 questionnaire, for example this question relating to the most important aspect of relationship communication: speaking and listening.
A major source of conflict in many relationships can be prevented by pairing only people who are open to criticism with those who are very critical. This helps avoid major communication disasters.
Once you have completed the personality test, you will receive an evaluation free of charge and you can view how your test result compares with the results of your partner recommendations. Here’s two examples of evaluations that are relevant to communication in a harmonious relationship:
Reach Out for Love at be2
Are you afraid of falling in love? Have you been to be2 before, but couldn’t find the courage to take the personality test? Or do you have a be2 profile and worry about contacting other members? What’s holding you back? Read more
Personality Test Helps You Find the Right Relationship at be2
Are you falling for the wrong type?
”Tricked me once, won’t let you trick me twice” holds a lot of truth when it comes to love. We’ve all been in bad relationships, but most people learn from their mistakes. If you keep getting tricked into the same type of relationship, you are falling for the wrong type. Before looking for a new love at be2, figure out what has gone wrong before to avoid the same mistake again. Read more
